Rolling Around in the Gutter

It's true confession time, boys and girls! I've always had the most terrible gutter mind. I love sexual subtext and double entendres of all descriptions, subtle or obvious. I spend much of my life biting my tongue in polite company.

So today, please indulge me while I post a few LOLs of questionable taste.

If one is good, two is better!

Hmmm, if these people wanted a lightsaber, they should've paid the extra bucks for a bigger sheet cake.

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear . . . .

MOM!

We can always rely on Oscar Wilde to wax philosophical about the gutter.

Yeah, looking at the stars, eh Picard?

And when it comes to subtext, always remember . . . .

Armagayddon

The Irish know what will happen if their country allows same sex marriage . . . . Oh, they know alright.

Back to School

I always loved going back to school every September. It's been 32 years since I last had that pleasure, but September still remains a special month to me because of it. So for all you students and teachers out there, I hope you enjoy these school-related LOLs!

Southern Alberta Road Trip, Part 3

Here's the conclusion of my little travelogue series --

Next, My Rare One and I went to Head-Smashed-In Buffalo Jump, which is located near Fort Macleod. Long before horses and guns were introduced to North America via European contact, buffalo jumps were how native peoples mass-harvested enough buffalo meat and hides to survive the harsh winters.

Disguising themselves as buffalo calves and menacing wolves, the First Nations hunters would induce a herd of buffalo to stampede off a high cliff. Not any old cliff would do, though. It had to have a nearby stream (for processing the kill afterwards) and face the right wind direction so the buffalo couldn't detect their hunters by smell. Archaeologists think that the Head-Smashed-In site was one of the best buffalo jumps in the Canadian west.

This is the actual buffalo jump site as it appears today -- the steep drop off the cliff has now filled in somewhat as the landscape slowly changed over its 5000 year use as a buffalo jump.

Head-Smashed-In overlooks the flat plains of the Old Man River basin. You can see a modern wind farm in the distance.

In the late 1800s, the greed and guns of white Canadians and Americans destroyed the huge buffalo herds of the plains in a few short years, devastating the native cultures which depended on the buffalo for survival. First Nations in the west are only now starting to recover. Today, their leaders say that "education is the new buffalo" to provide everything the people need.

Our final stop was to view the Frank Slide located in the Rocky Mountains' Crowsnest Pass. In 1903, the top peak of the mountain in the photo unexpectedly shifted, broke off and avalanched downwards in the middle of the night, wiping out part of the small mining town of Frank and killing 90 people. You can still clearly see the scars where it slid down the mountain.

The rocky debris field of the slide's huge "splash zone" (as it's called) is still a stunning sight. Believe me, these photos do not do it justice.

My Rare One and I both enjoy visiting the cultural heritage sites of our region. History is so fascinating because it shows the inventiveness, artistry and indomitable spirit of those who lived before us on this land.

[All photos © My Rare One, August 2014]

Southern Alberta Road Trip, Part 2

Continuing on with My Rare One's and my recent adventures in southern Alberta --

We traveled down near the American border to visit Writing-on-Stone Provincial Park. It is a small badlands coulee of sandstone cliffs and hoodoos found along the Milk River. For untold generations, it was a gathering place of the Blackfoot people.

It has hundreds of spectacular hoodoo formations created by time, wind and erosion. If you're familiar with southern Alberta, just let me say that the hoodoos of Writing-on-Stone put the hoodoos of Drumheller to shame. There's no comparison!

But what makes Writing-on-Stone even more special are the ancient petroglyphs (drawings) carved into the cliffs by the Blackfoot people. This awesome art was made before the days of first contact with Europeans and tells the stories of epic battles and buffalo hunts. To protect the petroglyphs from being vandalized, entry to the area where they are located is restricted and the petroglyphs may be viewed only under the supervision of a park guide.

Southern Alberta has the reputation of being the redneckiest part of Alberta so just to reinforce that stereotype, here's a photo of a lovely handcrafted antler display that we saw in the nearby town of Milk River. Love the howling wolf garden ornaments beneath it too!

Next we visited Fort Macleod, original home of the Northwest Mounted Police. This paramilitary force was created in 1873 and sent west to control the worst excesses of the frontier whisky and fur trade. Later on, the NWMP was renamed the Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

The Fort has excellent displays of pioneer artifacts and NWMP history.

Local students portray the NWMP and perform a Musical Ride several times each day. As you can see, Mounties originally wore white British pith helmets instead of flat-brimmed brown Stetsons. But the red serge jackets and single-stripe cavalry pants are essentially the same (dress) uniform still worn today by the RCMP.

[All photos © My Rare One, August 2014]

Southern Alberta Road Trip, Part 1

Although My Rare One and I are now living separately, we remain BFFs and enjoy spending time together. So a couple of weeks ago, we went on a little holiday down to southern Alberta for a few days. The next three posts are my "Coles Notes version" of all that we saw right here in our own beautiful province.

Of course, like all Edmontonians traveling south, we stopped at The Donut Mill in Red Deer's Gasoline Alley for a nosh and a bathroom break.

And we also pulled over in Vulcan to see the Starship Enterprise.

On the base, there's a friendly greeting in English . . .

. . . and one in the Vulcan language too.

The greeting in Klingon is not quite so friendly though.

In Lethbridge, we went to the gorgeous Nikko Yuko Japanese Garden. During World War II, the Canadian government unjustly arrested all Japanese Canadian citizens living on the west coast and moved them to inland internment camps in British Columbia and as far east as Lethbridge. The Nikko Yuko Japanese Garden was created by Canadians after the war as an act of atonement and reconciliation.

Apart from gorgeous trees, shrubs, water features and other traditional components of a Japanese garden, Nikko Yuko also has a stunning "dry garden" or zen rock garden.

Like any Japanese Garden, Nikko Yuko is the perfect spot for quiet contemplation.

[All photos © My Rare One, August 2014]

Happy Labour Day!