Here's today's email from Her Royal Highness at the London Cat Olympics --
Hello, human! I bet you think this event is kayaking, don't you? WRONG!!
It is, in fact, the extremely demanding, skill-testing feline Olympic event called "Bossing Around Humans." The CATlete rides in the kayak where it's nice and dry and must, using only meowing (no teeth or claws), make its dim-witted human paddler manoeuvre the boat through a series of obstacles.
An American kitty won the Gold in this event. You can see from his face what a bossy and determined CATlete he is.
American fans are the noisiest ones here too.
Actually, I didn't even enter this event because my bossiness skills are not yet at the elite level needed for international competition. Expect a LOT MORE practising in this area when I get home, human. Right now I'm reading the best training manual on the market -- "Fifty Shades of Meow." So when I say "jump" from now on, by the Goddess Bast, you'll JUMP!!!
Luv, hugz and purrz from your cat, HRH.