Thirty years ago, my first female lover accused me of being overly male-identified because I didn't mind going to mainstream movies that featured men in the starring roles. Didn't I know that, as a lesbian, I should only go to women-centred movies?
Then, just a couple of weeks ago, I was at a lezzie birthday party and history -- sorry, herstory -- repeated itself. Another partygoer accused me of being too fond of -- in her words -- dick flicks. My crime? I had innocently mentioned that I enjoyed seeing Captain America: Civil War.
Nice to know some things never change, eh? Welcome to Lesbian Nation!
That silly incident made me think of the classic satirical song What Kind of Self Respecting Faggot Am I? by Romanovsky & Phillips, which is all about failing to live up to our own LGBTQ community's cultural norms and expectations. Give it a listen, but be forewarned -- early 1990s fashion and hair styles ahead, LOL! Plus there's a bonus for you fans of Orange is the New Black -- check out the photo of a very young Lea DeLaria ("Big Boo") at 3:29 of the video.
40 comments:
Orange is the New Black = Ruby Rose. Who cares that she can't act.
Oh my gosh, those clothes are the best! And had you not pointed out it was Boo, I would've missed it!
So by that logic what movies as a straight man can I watch? Who made the rules? My wife has a lesbian friend who is a little like that, she doesn't like me and she barely knows me(???). Live your life to your own rules, watch what movies you want and certainly don't listen to people who want to impart their illogical values on others. I don't have time for haters of any kind.
So I'm guessing for a lot of lesbians, lesbianism equals, or must equal, feminism? How, positively ghastly! Should gay men then be chauvinists?
words for today
Cultural Marxism
Love the song! Informative and interesting post, Debra. Thank you!
that sounds a little discriminatory to me,, what we watch or read does not define us,,it just shows you are well rounded and excepting of the weaker race,, men lol,,,
Straight girl here but I have tons of friends who have confided in me in the past. They go through the same thing. Be yourself and let the haters hate. You know who you are!
so funny and cool to see big boo!
I love the video. My daughter would adore it. I hope that wherever she is, she comes across it. It seems rather silly to criticize your movie choices. Isn't the LGBTQ community all about being accepted for who you are? But I know nothing.
Love,
Janie
*sigh*
Snap-judgements abound in all walks of life. Hopefully, the partygoer was just being off-the-cuff and reconsidered her words later.
I'm sure you're not the only lesbian who found things to enjoy in Captain America...it's my wife's favorite Marvel film to date due in large part to Scarlet Johansson's ass-kicking. She's not someone at all interested in comic books or male-dominated action films, and she saw the film twice.
[funny video BTW]
To each his own, I always say.
I so resonate.
I've never understood why some people and groups insist on trapping themselves inside such narrow definitions. It just makes no sense to me. Being free means being able to choose what we like, not what other people believe we should like.
Oh, and yes, I LOVE the latest Capt movie, too. It was fantastic!
*runs off to see the video*
Hey 90s hair styles and fashions were the best, except the mullet of the 80s. Mullets need to come back. It's both comforting and disturbing that people have been obsessing over "dick flicks" and being too masculine/feminine to be a lesbian/gay. It's nice it's not a recent phonemon but dammit we should be over this crap by now.
Oh for Pete's sake! You should be able to watch anything you want and talk about it without being chided like that. Love that video!
The video was quite enjoyable! Regarding the rest, as our Beloved Renee would have said, "Oh, for fuck's sake"! People; stop judging eachother. Or to quote another famed philospher, Thumper's father; if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all.
https://youtu.be/oArDFU_IESQ
Lovelovelove, Deb
I think I'm missing out on a lot of fun by being straight.
seems a little strange to me that gays should watch only certain movies when that's not a requirement for straights...but, then again, I don't know "nuthin about nuthin" outside of my little safe, cocoon world. :)
Hoping you have a great weekend...
I believe the character Michael Tolliver had a similar complaint in one of the books in that great series by Maupin. Judged harshly by his family for being gay, then feeling overly judged by the gay men of San Fran for not having the right mustache or the perfect body or the right books on the coffee table. People can't win for trying.
Great tune! The fashion remind me of my youth since I graduated high school in 1992. It was a strange style time. How silly about the norms! Interesting variation on sexism.
Ya gotta love the purity police. I don't pretend to understand all the internal politics in LGBTQ groups, but sadly I've seen a similar sort of mindset in other groups. :(
That's like fighting for the freedom of choice but demanding everyone wear the same uniform to do so. Isn't the whole point to celebrate each others individuality?
Just do what the rednecks do and blame Hollywood and mumble
I love the video!!! Why can't people just be and be happy! I find this so much around, people have to put down or judge or whatever. I feel like telling them to shut up! So, who cares if everyone is wearing green skirts, I want to wear a black one! You know what I mean? Keep being you Debra!
too many unfounded rules. I thought they were all about freedom. You are free to enjoy any damn movie that pleases you. It's only a movie - lighten up.
WOW...you could be judged by what movies you watch because of the movie's actor's gender?? Dang...that is some serious restrictions. (or very narrow minded of some people that would be that judgemental) Either way, people should be able to do their own thing without others criticizing.
Hey Debra,
I'm fond of chick flicks. Wonder what that makes me. Um, fond of chick flicks. To hell with silly incidents. Besides, the incident turned into a blog post.
Take it easy, eh.
Gary :)
Joe is right about Ruby Rose. A terrible actress but I can overlook that because she is hot. I have added her to my If I Was a Lesbian list.
Wow, those Night at the Roxbury suits! What were early 90's people thinking?
That accordian was a thing of beauty, though. I would have liked to have heard him play it.
I never heard of these guys, there were some really clever rhymes in that song. I will have to search for them on YouTube.
I never heard of dick flicks before.
In all my years I have never heard the term 'dick flicks'. This is what I love about blogging pals. They educate us :)
I long for the day when each of us can be accepted for exactly who we are, not colored by labels or expectations of who and what we should say and do. You introduced me to the Marvel Comic movies which I probably never would have enjoyed otherwise. It's a big, wonderful world out there, and we should be able to explore it and experience it in a way that fulfills us. Have a happy weekend!
"Dick flicks!!" Ha..Is anybody ever totally anything??? Seems a little narrow minded or maybe threatened??
And yet, we all keep struggling along, being who we bloody well want to be. You can fuck right off, Judgy McJudgerton.
Happy Pride, Debra!
Those guys sure look gay.
I don't think anyone should be questioned about what kind of movies they enjoy, gay or not. Everyone is different and we all enjoy all typed of flicks, reads and more. Kind of crazy...
Don't you hate being put into a box? One is bad as the other. Gays and bikers have a lot in common. They both ride proudly against the wind.
Great clip - watched it twice.
the Ol'Buzzard
That's too mean. When you like something, why should be apologetic about it?
Dick flicks? You mean high octane, testosterone driven, action movies?
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