"So these are our new digs, are they?"
I awoke with a start. A baleful feline eye glared at me from close range.
"OMG am I hallucinating?"
"No, you are not hallucinating, human. Calm down. I have returned."
"Returned? How is that even possible?"
"The Goddess Bast in Her infinite wisdom has sent me back to haunt you . . . I mean, to help you. Neither Ceiling Cat nor the Great Mother of All are convinced that you can actually manage on your own. Clearly you are already halfway to hell in a handbasket. I have been sent back to be your Life Coach and Guide."
"Oh I do NOT fucking believe this."
"Believe it, human. Now get up and feed me. And by the way, I also barfed up a hairball by the TV in the living room. You'll need to deal with that. Just because I'm in spirit form now doesn't mean I don't still have all the same needs as before. Time to scoop the litter box too."
And so, dear readers, HRH's Adventures begin again. Stay tuned.