Minty Breath Game: The Rules

Her Royal Highness is one of those rare cats who is completely indifferent to catnip. It does absolutely nothing for her. But the smell of mint simply drives her wild! This didn't make any sense to me until I read somewhere that the mint plant is in fact a member of the catnip family.

In order to get her regular fix of mint, HRH created the Minty Breath Game all by herself and patiently trained me to follow its many rules --

1. I must brush my teeth using mint toothpaste only. No other kind will do.

2. When I run the bathroom tap for my final rinse, HRH will indicate whether she wants to play the Minty Breath Game that particular morning by jumping down off her cat tree.

3. She will meow at me as she walks past the bathroom. Her clear meaning is "C'mon, get a move on, let's go!"

4. HRH then jumps up on the bed and waits. The bed must be made and there must be no one and nothing else on it except her. A breach of this rule means No Game.

5. Varying the use of long and short puffs of air, I must blow minty breath in HRH's face and on her fur.

6. HRH will then drool, purr and roll around with delight.

7. I must not touch HRH during the Minty Breath Game because the mint also makes her aggressive and she will bite me. Or claw me. Or both.

8. I must continue blowing minty breath until HRH gives me The Sign that the Minty Breath Game has reached its finale and is now over.

Tomorrow -- HRH teaches me The Sign.