Praise Ceiling Cat, who be watchin yu,
May him has a cheezburger.
Wut yu want, yu gets, srsly,
In ceiling and on teh flor.
Giv us dis day our dalee cheezburger
And furgiv us for makin yu a cookie,
but eateding it.
An do not let us be leed into teh showa,
but deliver us from teh wawter.
Ceiling Cat pwns all.
He pwns teh ceiling and teh floor and walls too.
Forevur and evuhr.
Amen.
Dis is found in teh Book of Matthew 6 an in teh Book of Luke 11, srsly. Dis beez teh Ceiling Cat Prayer. If yu wan to kno how to prai to Ceiling Cat wit yer pawz, gewt on yer nees and pray too zee almity ceiling cat up above and remebr cookez and remeber too donate 50 milz so i can buyz me a limo to go crewzin.
This prayer and ritual advice is part of the LOLCat Bible Translation Project, the goal of which is to translate the entire Bible into lolspeak. Of course the translation reflects lolcat theology as well, featuring Ceiling Cat and his dark nemesis, Basement Cat, locked in eternal struggle. I think this stuff is absolutely hilarious. Her Royal Highness takes it pretty seriously though.
This version of the Ceiling Cat Prayer dates from about a year ago; it has now been revised, but not for the better (I think), so I have posted the earlier one.
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