Thursday 17 December 2020

HRH's Christmas Message


Greetings, my poor, downcast minions!

Yes, rejoice, for it is I, 
HER ROYAL HIGHNESS THE CAT
gracing you with my presence once again.

Every Christmas morning, my cousin Betty Windsor
(you know, "the other HRH")
gives a televised message to inspire her
inexplicably devoted subjects.


Well, if cousin Betty can make the effort,
I guess I can too.

Hell, even my other royal cousin,
The Black Panther,
(King T'Challa of Wakanda)
makes an effort to have fun
at this time of year and
they don't even celebrate
Christmas there!


So, because all of you are effin' miserable right now,
I am determined to set a good example
this Christmas to cheer you up.

Here goes nuttin' --




If that last one
didn't cheer you up,
you're beyond hope
and to hell with you!

. . . err, um, sorry . . .

Man, I don't know how
cousin Betty does it,
that relentless cheerfulness,
year in, year out.

NO! NO!

I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE!

I GOTTA BE ME!


And may the Cat Goddess Bast 
bless you all this holy season.

Thank you and good day.

36 comments:

Susan said...

That's exactly how I feel, HRH! Is THIS jolly enough?, as she contemplates almost 18 inches of snow and a dog with legs that are 3 inches high.

Linda said...

Kitties on titties!,!, hahahaha

Marie Smith said...

That first me is my three year old grandson!

Sixpence Notthewiser said...

HAHAHAHA
Is THIS yolly enough?
And the first kitty! Oh dear.
Is that a kitty on the... oh I see.

XOXO

Brian Joseph said...

Most cats do at least love Christmas trees.I bet that the unhappy looking one in the picture does too. There is always a bright side to things.

Travel said...

Cats are happy on their own terms, no one can impose happiness on them.

Ol'Buzzard said...


Cats are the true spirit of Christmas: give me a box to play in, feed me, I need a nap.
Exactly my sentiments.
the Ol'Buzzard

anne marie in philly said...

kits on tits? that's a new one!

thank you, HRH, for the "holly jolly" reminders. blessed be to you and your fellow felines who love us unworthy hoomins!

Parnassus said...

My favorite is the one with the glowing cat eyes!
--Jim

Moving with Mitchell said...

Yep, the last one is jolly enough for me. Thank you very much.

Bob said...

The first one slayed me, and the rest followed suit.

The Betty Windsor one is high-larious!

e said...

Is this jolly enough? That's exactly how I'm feeling this year!

Betty Windsor made me laugh and the kitties on titties were chuckle-worthy. Ok, they were all chuckle-worthy!

Thank you so very much, your Royal Highness! ::curtsy::

Suz said...

HRH has put me in the cheerful mood for sure. So many funnies! I'm sure my husband would be down with kitties on kitties!!

DVArtist said...

OMG these are fabulous. I love the first and last ones. Have a great day.

Mistress Maddie said...

The first picture had me rolling, because it's how I picture Anne Marie thinking about Christmas!!!!! LOL!!!!!!

These all had me rolling.

Leanna said...

I would have loved to have seen all The 12 Days of Kitties. That kitties on the titties is funny.

Martha said...

LOL! I'm about as jolly as the kitties this year.

bobbie said...

Your Royal Highness ~ Thank you for all the giggles this morning! My fave is the first one ~

Tundra Bunny said...

Looks like someone wasn't invited to Larry The Cat's Xmas party over at 10 Downing Street... better luck next year, HRH!

Magaly Guerrero said...

HRH always makes everything better. Even the a flipped bird (or two) look jolly when is done by HRH. Also, I always thought bras with claws would catch on... eventually.

Her Royal Highness said...

@ Tundra Bunny -- Oh, I was INVITED, believe you me, but I NEVER attend Larry the 10 Downing Street Cat's parties anymore. He and I had a FLING a few years ago, and now he's OBSESSED with me, POSITIVELY STALKERISH. I avoid him like the plague.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

@ Magaly Guerrero -- Bras with claws, hahahahahaha! Wish I'd thought of that!

Polly said...

I'm very bah humbug this year because I should be in Australia spending Christmas with my daughter. Booked in Feb, Australia closed, airline cancelled.

Mike said...

I've seen several kitties on titties but this is the best one yet. Notice 'yet'? Keep looking. There's bound to be a better one out there.

NanaDiana said...

LOL- Gotta love cats. They ALL have an attitude of one sort or another. I miss having a kitty around. xo Diana

JM said...

Oh...love kitties!!

Joanne Noragon said...

I think your cousin Betty has lost weight since "before".

Kirk said...

The way it's going, Betty Windsor's oldest son may end up being mistaken for her brother.

This N That said...

HRH strikes again! Love her..All attitude!!

Janie Junebug said...

So it's pussies that I need to hold the girls in place.

Love,
Janie

yellowdoggranny said...

kitties on titties..craccked me up..
your xmas card will probably not make it til after christmas..I forgot it was going to canada and put a regular stamp on it..duh.

Martha said...

HAHAHA! Loved these. That last one...I had days like that. 😂

Ur-spo said...

oh you are terrible just pray The Yule Cat doesn't get you this week.

Guillaume said...

Saw a great meme about cats and Christmas trees. Might share it on my own blog.

Liz Hinds said...

Love the ... um kitties.

How come I have aged so much more than Betty?

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! I love this so much! LOL! 5 Shiny Things! So cute! Kitties on the Titties! LOL! Big Hugs!